Christmas on the couch

a festive listicle by Atlanta Tsiaoukkas, resident writer at 3shotcine

---

Preparing for a painful Christmas flung across the sofa, forced to watch festive specials and increasingly obscene permutations of The Grinch? Vying for intellectual superiority, television remote poised, scheming one-upmanship against your film bro relative who isn’t even aware that you are engaged in a film criticism battle of the ages? Searching for a cinematic controversy more pretentious than ‘Is Die Hard a Christmas movie’? More contrarian than subtly throwing in an ‘I don’t care for Love Actually’? 

If so, I’ve got you covered with a delectable and deranged tasting menu of festive films that have flown under the reindeer's radar, ready to start fights and ensure you get the living room to yourself as your extended family shuffles off in awe of your refined, exceptional tastes. 

The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo (2011) 

directed by David Fincher

Best For:

Rehashing ‘is it a Christmas movie’ Debates; Families with Psychosexual Dynamics

It's always good to start with a controversy, especially at Christmas. Marketed back in 2011 as the ‘feel bad movie of Christmas’ this is definitely a perfect film to watch whilst you push through the impending hangover on Christmas afternoon after drinking all morning. Still, its cult credentials make it a necessary watch over the holidays, and if you pause the movie at just the right moments, it has an unexpectedly cosy, frostbitten aesthetic. 

White Reindeer (2013)

directed by Zack Clark 

Best For:

Tricking Your Aunt into Thinking She’s About to Watch a Hallmark Movie, Bringing the Mood Down

White Reindeer is a top-tier Christmas film if just because when you start watching you are wholly convinced you are about to encounter a mid-range Hallmark knock-off only to be abruptly sent a kilter by the melodramatics that ensue. It’s a real downer - watch after a family argument to really marinate in its awkward juices. 

The Green Knight (2021) 

directed by David Lowery 

Best For:

Awkward Silences, Asserting Esoteric Dominance, Dev Patel 

Very appropriately, this film begins at Christmas, and, spoiler alert, exclusively takes place on Christmas Day. Period dramas are often peak festive nostalgia (another version of this list includes various versions of Little Women and Dickens adaptations), so why not lure people who you care about to a certain degree with the appeal of luxurious costumes and pastoral England before shocking them with a neurotic fever dream featuring Dev Patel? 

Mon Oncle Antoine (1971)

directed by Claude Jutra 

Best For:

Politically Out-Doing Your Cousin who Thinks Being Liberal Makes Them Cool 

A classic example of 1970s social realism and a historical perspective on Canada’s asbestos strikes, the depressing tale of a small town department store in the 1940s is, I would say, the perfect mid-morning film, where you are hopefully not as drunk as the characters, but drunk enough to start singing Bella Ciao in solidarity with labour strikes of yore. 

Bitter Melon (2018) 

directed by H.P. Mendoza 

Best For:

Distracting Your Family From Their Own Problems with Much Worse Fictional Ones 

The centre-piece of indie cinema set at Christmas, this film about intergenerational trauma pips any black comedy suggestions to the post, is ladened with political intention and has a kitchen sink aesthetic that will emasculate all and any film bro relatives. Make sure you’ve written a carefully crafted Letterboxd review to go with it. 

The Advent Calendar (2021) 

directed by Patrick Ridremont 

Best For:

Killing a Relative via Jump Scare, Getting the Sofa to Yourself 

The Advent Calendar is a festive horror film sorely in need of love - why are bad Santas and horrifically CGI-ed reindeer getting all the attention when this unassuming little Belgian-French film exists? Think Hellraiser on Ice, elf-on-the-shelf if the elf was evil - with a slow build and exceptional pay-off that will lull your relatives into a false sense of security before it gets bloody. 

---

A listicle by Atlanta Tsiaoukkas, resident writer at 3shotcine.

Atlanta is a born and bred Londoner and a PhD candidate researching Victorian children’s culture. She enjoys exploring film and popular culture through a unique lens and understanding cinema within wider social contexts.

Like the work we do? Oh, we're flattered. Well, keep the love coming:

Follow us on Instagram here.

Send us a little tip here. 

Find our Letterboxd here.

Find out what's in the box here.

Have a review, film analysis, or thinkpiece you'd like to publish with us? Read how you can do that here.